


Hot, Stop, and Roll

by shitdamnhell (orphan_account)



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Awkward Flirting, BB-8 POV, BB-8 is tired of them, Finn's oblivious, Fluff, Humor, I hope, Idiots in Love, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, Poe's a mess, wow this is so original can you tell?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-20
Updated: 2017-04-20
Packaged: 2018-10-21 11:43:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10684602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/shitdamnhell
Summary: BB-8 loves Friend-Poe dearly, he truly does, though as of late the droid can’t help but want to abandon his human on some Outer Rim planet until his senses comes back to him.Friend-Poe used to be charming, smooth, flirtatious, all that weird human stuff that others found so desirable in the pilot. But now? Now the entire base is cringing as they watch Friend-Poe try to flirt with Friend-Finn in the hangar.BB-8 drops his head and lets out a mournful whirr as Pilot-Jess pats his base consolingly.“It’ll get better,” she assures them all, “It has to.”





	Hot, Stop, and Roll

**Author's Note:**

> Based off this fic title ask i got on tumblr a while ago: http://wellheregoes-nothing.tumblr.com/post/157632227303/made-up-fic-title-hot-stop-and-roll
> 
> idk friends i wrote this quickly and for funsies and it made me smile so i hope you like it too
> 
> also: BB-8 is referred to as 'he' because they do that in the movie. i like to think that droids don't actually have gender like we do and/or only decide on one if they want just for shits and grins

If BB-8 was capable of sighing, he would heave a very loud and exasperated one in the hopes that it would get Friend-Poe’s attention and make the human  _ shut up for one kriffing second. _ Instead, he lets out a warbling tone to mimic the human sound, all to no avail. Friend-Poe just continues his monologue.

“And he’s so brave, you know? Just unbelievable--”

Friend-Poe has been waxing poetic about Friend-Finn (formerly Ally-Finn, designation changed when it was made clear that Friend-Poe thought nothing but the best of the human) ever since BB-8 was able to herd him from the medbay to their quarters, determined to get his human to his bed for some much needed rest. It has been three days since the destruction of Starkiller and Friend-Finn’s admittance to the medbay, which for some reason led to the Friend-Poe spending the last three days at Friend-Finn’s side. Friend-Poe hadn’t even changed from his flight suit. 

[Yes, Friend-Poe,] BB-8 beeps in such a way that can only be taken as patronizing, [Friend-Finn is quite brave. But you must  _ sleep _ .] It had been hard enough to get the pilot to eat and shower, so this final request would need nothing short of a miracle or the Force to get him to comply. [In your bed and  _ not _ a chair] BB-8 adds hastily before the man got any ideas.

Still grumbling Friend-Finn’s praise under his breath, Friend-Poe stumbles toward his bed and flops onto it gracelessly and is asleep and snoring within moments. BB-8 beeps and whirrs in celebration, uncaring about the racket he makes as he moves to his charging station. He knows that when Friend-Poe sleeps as noisily as he does now that nothing short of the emergency sirens will wake him. 

With his final thoughts before he powers down, BB-8 thinks that he and Friend-Poe will need as much energy as possible for the days to come, especially if Friend-Poe continues to be as ridiculous as he has been for the past three days.

~

As predicted, Friend-Poe makes his way to the medbay as soon as he is awake, only eating a piece of bread for his morning meal as he strides through the base’s halls. BB-8 keeps pace at his side, sighing internally while Friend-Poe continues to speak Friend-Finn’s praises, as if he hadn’t said everything that  _ could _ be said in the last seventy-two hours. 

BB-8 has nothing against Friend-Finn, he actually enjoys the human and is grateful for his role in the destruction of Starkiller and the fact that he  _ saved Friend-Poe’s life, _ but BB-8 can only tolerate so much of Friend-Poe’s  _ pining. _

(Oh yes, while he may be a droid and not fully grasp human courting and mating rituals, BB-8 knows enough. And BB-8 has seen this particular look from Friend-Poe many times over the years and it never fails to entertain. Though this time is...different. BB-8 doesn’t think he’s ever seen Friend-Poe look at another the way he looks at Friend-Finn. He plans to keep a close eye on the situation.)

To BB-8’s delight, Friend-Poe stops his squawking as they enter Friend-Finn’s room to find Hero-Rey already occupying the sole visitor’s chair next to the bed.

[Hero-Rey!] BB-8 squeals and rushes to her side, [Save me! Friend-Poe is being ridiculous!]

Hero-Rey laughs and pats BB-8 on the top of his head once he stills. “I’m not surprised, but what is he being ridiculous about?”

Friend-Poe makes a warning noise low in his throat that BB-8 happily ignores. [Friend-Poe is  _ pining _ for Friend-Finn and it is obnoxious.]

BB-8 knows without looking that Friend-Poe’s face is bright red with embarrassment. He also knows that Friend-Poe is glaring at him and will probably have some stern words for him later, but BB-8 doesn’t care. He’s more interested in the way that Hero-Rey smirks knowingly at Friend-Poe over BB-8’s head.

“I see,” she smiles, though BB-8 can’t help but to think that it looks more like a warning than kindness. “Then you’ll be sure to watch after my friend while I’m gone, won’t you?” She addresses this to Friend-Poe, with a strange amount of emphasis on  _ friend. _ “I don’t want him to be alone if he wakes while I’m gone.”

While Friend-Poe sputters out his promise to stay at Friend-Finn’s side, BB-8 trills sadly at the reminder that Hero-Rey will be leaving soon. Sure, it’s to find Luke Skywalker, and it’s very important for the fate of the Resistance and the galaxy, but he can’t help but to be a little selfish and wish that Hero-Rey would stay with them on base. 

(Hero-Rey  _ saved _ BB-8, after all, which makes her BB-8’s second favorite human after Friend-Poe. But if Friend-Poe does not stop his pining soon, she may be promoted.)

Sadly, Hero-Rey has her mission, so it’s only three hours later that BB-8 watches her fly off in the  _ Millennium Falcon  _ with Chewbacca and R2-D2. BB-8 watches until the  _ Falcon _ disappears before turning and chasing after Friend-Poe, who’s already walking back to the medbay.

~

They make a new routine in the days then weeks that follow after Hero-Rey’s departure: the mornings are for breakfast with Friend-Poe’s squadron (followed by a brief check on Friend-Finn in medbay) and meetings with the General and other officers in the command center, then lunch (and another quick check on Friend-Finn), the afternoons are spent running drills and maintenance on  _ Black One, _ dinner is quickly eaten with the squadron, then the next few hours before bed Friend-Poe spends in the medbay at Friend-Finn’s side. 

Friend-Poe sometimes brings paperwork to complete or books to read aloud, though more often than not he holds long, one-sided conversations with Friend-Finn while holding onto the latter’s hand with his own. BB-8 doesn’t always join Friend-Poe during these visits, but when he does he makes sure to correct the pilot when he tries to exaggerate the tales of his heroics in an attempt to impress Friend-Finn. 

When Friend-Poe is ordered off-base by the General and BB-8 is not required or allowed to join, BB-8 takes over Friend-Poe’s vigil at Friend-Finn’s side in the medbay per the pilot’s request.

“I just don’t want him to be alone, okay, buddy?” Friend-Poe had wheedled, “It’d mean a lot to me if you stuck with him.”

BB-8 did the droid equivalent of a groan, but accepted the mission easily. They both knew that there was little BB-8 wouldn’t do for Friend-Poe. 

(And if it gave BB-8 ample opportunity to play endless recordings of Friend-Poe embarrassing himself for Friend-Finn, then no one would know but him.)

~

It was during one of Friend-Poe’s brief solo missions (a quick supply run that would only take half the day) that Friend-Finn finally woke up. Had anyone asked him, BB-8 would have predicted that there would have been plenty of alarms and shrieking medical equipment to accompany Friend-Finn’s rise to consciousness. 

Instead, there was only the smallest change in Friend-Finn’s breathing and heartrate that BB-8 missed, too busy being amused by the recording he was playing of a drunken Friend-Poe ranting about how great Cassian Andor and Bodhi Rook were to the Rebellion. It was only the low, disoriented groan coming from the bed that alerted BB-8 to a change in Friend-Finn’s condition.

[Friend-Finn!] BB-8 silenced the recording and rolled around the room in delight, [Friend-Finn, you’re awake!]

When Friend-Finn only groaned again in response, BB-8 realized that he should get a doctor or medical droid to tend to the man. Thankfully, Dr. Kalonia strode in at that moment and began fussing over Friend-Finn. BB-8 continued to beep and warble up at Friend-Finn, reassuring him that Friend-Poe would be back soon and will be  _ so happy _ to see Friend-Finn awake, until Dr. Kalonia had a nurse shoo him out.

With an angry blat, BB-8 turned and quickly zoomed out of the medbay and headed to the command center. If anyone could get a message to Friend-Poe about Friend-Finn’s new condition, it was certainly the General.

~

BB-8’s reaction to Friend-Finn’s awakening _paled_ in comparison to Friend-Poe’s. The man had barely landed the cargo ship he was piloting before he was running down the ramp--completely bypassing BB-8 without so much as a hello--and bolting for the medbay. He only managed not to crash into anyone else because BB-8 had made sure to clear the path of any people just minutes before his human landed. (No one had wanted to listen to a little astromech droid at first, but once the electric prod came out everyone was _very_ accommodating.)

Rolling as fast as he could, but still lagging behind Friend-Poe, BB-8 updated Friend-Poe with what he knew. [Friend-Finn woke up four hours ago, he is still in pain but is being very stubborn about it, and the med-droids say that he will walk again soon!]

Friend-Poe only acknowledged BB-8 with a grunt, too busy ducking around the last corner and clipping his shoulder on the wall and trying not to stumble. BB-8 trilled a little laugh that earned a mock-glare from Friend-Poe once he regained his footing. 

Before Friend-Poe can damage himself any further, Friend-Finn’s elated voice calls to him.

“Poe?”

Once they’re both inside, BB-8 swivels his gaze between the two humans, seeing how they both wear the same expressions of shock, awe, and delight, a matching blush brightening their faces.

[Oh dear] BB-8 beeps to himself, [Here we go]

~

Friend-Finn is on back on his feet much sooner than anyone had anticipated. BB-8 learns from one of the many med-droids that the Evil-First-Order had modified Friend-Finn to some degree. Friend-Poe looks irrationally angry when he hears as much, though Friend-Finn doesn’t look surprised.

“They’re evil,” he shrugs, “But manipulating my DNA so I heal faster doesn’t even make it on the list of ‘Horrible Things I’ve Experienced.’”

Friend-Poe gets a steely look in his eye at Friend-Finn’s brush off. He keeps the look throughout their next mission where BB-8 watches the pilot take out the incoming TIE-fighters with a lot more satisfaction than what’s called for.

~

After three months of watching Friend-Finn heal and make a place for himself in the Resistance--and watching Friend-Poe pine after him every step of the way--BB-8 realizes that Friend-Poe doesn’t plan on acting on his feelings. 

BB-8 waits until he and Friend-Poe are out on a supply run to bring it up. Friend-Poe is the right amount of irritated and frustrated with their shuttle (anything that isn’t  _ Black One  _ is always difficult to enjoy flying) that his usual wall surrounding his emotions is weakened.

[When are you going to tell Friend-Finn how you feel?] BB-8 chirps. 

Friend-Poe startles and bangs his head on the console he was under--perhaps BB-8 should have waited until the pilot was done with the repairs--then cranes his head around to look at BB-8 incredulously.

“What are you talking about?”

BB-8 trills out a series of beeps that make his exasperation clear. [You have  _ feelings _ for Friend-Finn. You should tell him.]

After a minute of struggling, Friend-Poe finally extracts himself from the console to sit across from BB-8. There’s grease all over his face and his hair sticks up in approximately a million directions. BB-8 takes a quick picture and stores it in his memory for Pilot-Jess. She is fond of any evidence that “proves Poe’s hair isn’t always perfect” and rewards BB-8 with an oil bath whenever he accumulates enough pictures for her. 

Friend-Poe sighs and drags a hand down his face. “First of all, I don’t have feelings--”

BB-8 cuts his human off with a series of beeps that can only translate to hysterical laughter. The pilot glares, but raises his voice to continue lying anyways.

“--I  _ don’t have feelings for him, _ hush, you, but even if I  _ did, _ that’s none of your business!”

The droid quiets himself, though he continues to stare at his human and begins to wait. Friend-Poe was a great pilot and an even better friend, but the man doesn’t do well with silence.

Friend-Poe began to squirm, then huffed out a breath. “Okay, so it’s not like I haven’t noticed how  _ nice _ Finn is, or kriff, how  _ attractive _ he is _ , _ but that doesn’t mean I have feelings for him!”

BB-8 waits.

“He’s my best friend! I like spending time with him--a lot of time, sure, though that’s not a  _ bad _ thing, right?” Friend-Poe’s eyes were wide and beseeching, yet BB-8 remains silent.

The pilot stood and began to pace in the small cockpit, waving his hands around as he argued with himself. “He’s only been on his feet a few months, he doesn’t need some lonely old man trying to make a move on him when he’s still adapting to life outside the First Order.”

He spins on his heel and points an angry finger at BB-8, “ _ Not _ that I’d just ‘make a move’ on him, okay?! I’d want something  _ more.  _ Hand-holding, dating, the whole thing! He deserves that kind of happiness! Hell,” he laughs, “ _ I  _ deserve it!”

BB-8 hums with satisfaction when Friend-Poe freezes with realization.

“Oh,  _ shit.”  _ The pilot looks to his droid, as if hoping he hadn’t heard.

BB-8 twirls in his spot smugly, trilling his laughter up to his human.

[So, Friend-Poe,] he chirps, [How do you plan on telling Friend-Finn?]

The pilot just groans in defeat.

~

BB-8 loves Friend-Poe dearly, he truly does, though as of late the droid can’t help but want to abandon his human on some Outer Rim planet until his senses comes back to him. 

Friend-Poe used to be charming, smooth, flirtatious, all that weird human stuff that others found so desirable in the pilot. But now? Now the entire  _ base _ is cringing as they watch Friend-Poe try to flirt with Friend-Finn in the hangar.  _ Again. _

The pilot is leaning against a stack of crates next to Friend-Finn as he watches the latter reassemble a blaster, unaware of the way the crates are beginning to slide under his weight. Friend-Poe is too busy stammering and blushing at Friend-Finn, who for all the world doesn’t seem to notice any odd behavior.

“This is painful to watch,” Pilot-Jess whispers to BB-8 and the rest of the squadron as they stand only about ten yards away from the action. None of them are being particularly discreet about their eavesdropping, seeing as their subjects only have eyes for each other--as awkward and oblivious as they may be.

[This is not what I had hoped for,] BB-8 confesses with disappointed beeps. 

Pilot-Snap grimaces as Friend-Poe drops another horrendous pick-up line (this one involving a spanner and an X-wing that makes  _ no sense at all _ ) right before the crates surrender and send the pilot tumbling to the ground. The noise is enough to cover the sound of the squadron’s failed attempts to muffle their laughter, while the accident thankfully lets Friend-Finn forget about the terrible line. 

When Friend-Finn helps Friend-Poe to his feet the latter is stammering and blushing even harder than before, making quick and flimsy excuses to flee the scene. Friend-Finn watches the pilot go with no small amount of confusion, then returns to his task with a furrow between his brows.

BB-8 drops his head and lets out a mournful whirr as Pilot-Jess pats his base consolingly. 

“It’ll get better,” she assures them all, “It has to.”

~

It does not, in fact, get better. 

BB-8 has had the pleasure of witnessing the following over the last four weeks:

  * Friend-Poe tripping over his own feet in an attempt to impress Friend-Finn on their nightly jog, resulting in a broken nose and a trip to the medbay.
  * Friend-Poe walking out of the ‘fresher with nothing but the galaxy’s smallest towel on into their shared quarters, only to find the General and Admiral Ackbar having quick a word with Friend-Finn. (BB-8 didn’t know that his human could turn that particular shade of red. It was hilarious.)
  * No less than thirteen pick-up lines (nine of which referenced Friend-Poe’s X-wing) that not only went over Friend-Finn’s head, but also were met with such confusion Friend-Poe had no choice but to retreat in his embarrassment before he was forced to explain himself
  * Three trips to the gym with the intention to train with Friend-Finn, though instead leaving Friend-Poe drooling like a nerf-herder as Friend-Finn lifted weights shirtless. Friend-Poe always had to retire to their room early for… _‘personal_ _matters’_
  * And finally, a grand total of twenty instances where Friend-Poe had choked on his food or drink whenever Friend-Finn smiled beautifully at the pilot--a smile that BB-8 noticed Friend-Finn _only_ ever gave to Friend-Poe



At the end of the month, BB-8 wonders how his human had made it this far in life at all.

~

Friend-Finn, by some miracle, doesn’t notice these strange incidents with Friend-Poe. Or rather, he  _ does, _ but he doesn’t read into them like anybody else would. 

BB-8 would be furious with Friend-Finn if it wasn’t 1) totally Friend-Poe’s fault that his intentions weren’t clear, 2) a result of twenty-three years of brainwashing that left Friend-Finn a little in the dark when it came to flirting, and 3) obvious that Friend-Finn felt the same exact way for Friend-Poe. 

Friend-Finn was just subtle about it. BB-8 had to watch closely to see, though once he did, the droid couldn’t help but to wonder how his human  _ didn’t _ see it. Friend-Poe was oblivious to the way Friend-Finn smiled at the pilot, the way he found any and every excuse to sit close enough that they would touch from shoulder to hip to feet, and the way Friend-Finn would choose Friend-Poe’s shirts over his own nearly every single day. 

BB-8 let out a plaintive wail as his human and Friend-Finn stared longingly at one another across the hanger. With another pathetic beep, BB-8 rolled until he came to a stop at Pilot-Jess’ feet. He bowed his head until it pressed against her shins, then whirred sadly once more for good measure. 

Pilot-Jess sighed and placed her hand atop his head. “You okay, Beebs?”

[They’re both just so  _ stupid, _ ] the droid told her with a forlorn set of beeps and whirrs.

“I know,” she laughed, “But there’s nothing we can do. We just have to wait for them to figure it out themselves.”

BB-8 let out an angry  _ blat. _ [We’ll all be  _ dead _ by then!]

Pilot-Jess snorted inelegantly before composing herself. “Maybe, but it’s not like we can just force them to see sense, right?”

The droid paused in his grumbling and looked up at Pilot-Jess with consideration. Looking between Pilot-Jess, Friend-Finn, and Friend-Poe, BB-8 came up with a plan.

~

Getting Friend-Finn to follow along with BB-8’s plan was the easy part. The man was still learning the finer points of binary, so all BB-8 had to do was drop the words [Friend-Poe] and [emergency] and suddenly Friend-Finn was hot on BB-8’s trail as he led the man through the base. 

The droid had found the perfect location to enact his plan only days before, after Friend-Poe’s most recent attempt of seduction nearly set fire to the entire mess hall. It was an old storage closet that was at the far end of the base--unused because of its tendency to lock from the outside. 

BB-8 made all sorts of distressful noises as he came to a halt outside the closed door, looking frantically between it and Friend-Finn for added flair.

“Is Poe in there?” Friend-Finn looked wide-eyed and extremely worried (BB-8 made a note to apologize for that later) and opened the door. Once the man had stepped into the dark room, BB-8 was quick to ram the door shut behind him, letting it lock with a satisfactory  _ click. _

BB-8 hummed with delight at the sound of Friend-Finn and Friend-Poe stumbling and tripping over one another inside. There was a lot of grunting and cursing--some directed at BB-8--and what sounded like a whole lot of body contact.

(Friend-Poe had been lured to the closet hours before in an elaborate and exhausting plan that involved Pilot-Jess and Pilot-Snap, C-3PO, some whiskey, and a vague set of orders from the General herself. It was an ordeal, to say the least.)

“BB-8, I know you’re out there!” Friend-Poe’s shout was muffled, but it didn’t mask his frustration. “You open this door right now!”

[No!]

Friend-Poe spluttered, “What do you mean, ‘no?!’”

[You two are going to stay in there and talk about your feelings!]

“Buddy, you are seriously crossing a line--”

[I don’t care!] BB-8 warbled, [You’ve been taking too long! Just man up and  _ tell Friend-Finn how you feel! _ ]

It was silent for a moment, then another, before Friend-Finn’s tentative voice piped up. 

“I honestly have no idea what’s going on.”

That startled a laugh out of Friend-Poe. “Yeah, sorry about that. This is my fault, I guess, and BB-8’s just trying to get my ass in gear.” Friend-Finn was silent, so the pilot continued. “Look, buddy, I’ve been trying to make my feelings clear for a while, but I’ve been doing a pretty shit job of it.”

There was a quick intake of breath, “Poe?”

Friend-Poe’s words came out all in a rush. “I love you, okay? I love you. I’ve never felt like this about someone else so I was acting like a grade-A idiot but you didn’t seem to notice so I kept making an even  _ bigger _ fool of--mmpf!”

There was the thunk of a body hitting a wall and the faint sounds of kissing, followed only a moment later by a moan.

BB-8 twirled in victory, beeping and whirring to his heart’s content as he rolled away from the closet. Friend-Poe and Friend-Finn could be let out in a little while, he decided. They needed some time to themselves.

~

Pilot-Jess was giving BB-8 an oil-bath for a job well done when Pilot-Snap looked around the hangar in confusion. 

“Has anyone Poe and Finn? I can’t find them anywhere and the General wants to talk to them.”

Pilot-Jess looked at the man with a smirk. “They’re probably christening Poe’s X-wing.”

The other pilot rolled his eyes, “They’re not there, and believe me, I checked. No one’s seen them anywhere one base in nearly six hours now. _ ” _

BB-8 abruptly stopped his contented humming. [Oh no.]

Both pilots turned to the droid with questions in their eyes.

[I forgot to let them out.]

 

**Author's Note:**

> find me on tumblr @ shitfuckgoddamnhell


End file.
